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I’m fully aware that, in writing this post, I’m forfeiting any and all future opportunities I may ever have to hook up with Justin Bieber. ...

Justin Bieber's Transformation into Kevin Federline Is Complete

I’m fully aware that, in writing this post, I’m forfeiting any and all future opportunities I may ever have to hook up with Justin Bieber. But… it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

As at least 52.1 million of you know, The Biebs rang in the new year while canoodling with Hailey Baldwin on the tropical Carribbean island of Anguilla. They swapped spit, hair elastics, and jackets—and on Monday, Baldwin, 19, allegedly convinced Bieber to get his ever-changing mane woven into white-boy cornrows. Maybe K-Fed and Justin Timberlake were onto something?

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