Think about it: If you were a zillion-year-old woman using mystical jewelry to fool people into thinking you were a powerful, if a bit nutty, young hottie, wouldn’t you want to show off the goods as often as possible?
Yep, as the Red Woman prepares for bed at the end of the HBO drama’s sixth season premiere, she removes all her clothing and her ever-present necklace… and we soon see that she’s actually an ancient crone.
We also get a definitive answer to whether or not Jon Snow is among the living — as we were warned, he is not — as well as to the question I’m sure you’ve been asking yourselves since the Season 5 finale: “What have the Sand Snakes been up to?” Just kidding; Bronn is the only person alive who’s been wondering about those naughty ladies.
Read on for more of what goes down in “The Red Woman.”
THE MEN OF THE WALL | Ghost lets out a long, mournful howl, and many of us are right there with him, because Jon Snow is very dead. Davos finds the body of the Lord Commander, who has succumbed to his multiple stab wounds and is lying in a pile of bloody slush, and has a few of Jon’s friends help carry him to his quarters. Meanwhile, Melisandre wonders how she could’ve possibly been so wrong about what her visions foretold. “I saw him in the flames, fighting at Winterfell,” she says, brushing his cold cheek with her hand. “I cannot speak for the flames,” Davos replies, “but he’s gone.”
It’s immediately clear to the men that only one Night’s Watch “brother” — and I used that term very loosely — could have masterminded Snow job: Alliser Thorne. The man in question argues to the rest of the brotherhood that Jon was going to disband the Night’s Watch. “He thrust a terrible choice upon us, and we made it,” he says, defending his actions.
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