Hello again, rose lovers, and happy 2016 to you! Before we dive in, let’s just take a moment to savor this moment — the oh-so-brief window of time when even hardcore cynics like myself can imagine that maybe, just maybe, this time the romantic machinery of The Bachelor will not malfunction, and that our hero (in this case, Ben) will end his “journey” with a true happily ever after. Sigh.
Cut to Warsaw, Indiana, where Ben shoots hoops at a barn that looks suspiciously like the one where Chris Soules worked out with Cody at the beginning his season.
Their advice? Be honest, be open-minded, be true to yourself, dump her on live television if that’s what your heart wants, etc. You get the idea. Yet not one of them said, “Hey buddy, before the limos arrive you have GOT to do something about your hair.”
There are a few things Team Bachelor clearly wants us to know about Ben. One: He really values values. Small-town values, American values, heartland values, family values — any kind of values, really.. Two: Deep down, Mr. Ben Higgins worries that he’s unlovable because… he’s not married yet, or something? He listened to too much Morrissey as a kid? Not quite clear on where this fear comes from, to be honest. Often you can attribute neuroses like that to a person’s upbringing, but Ben’s parents — married for 32 years — seem absolutely lovely. So maybe Ben just hates himself for no reason? Oh great, Ben —now you’ve made your mom cry.
“She’s gonna be great, no matter where you find her,” Mama tells her boy, leaving the rest of her thought — “even if you insist on finding her on TV” — unspoken.
Cut to Warsaw, Indiana, where Ben shoots hoops at a barn that looks suspiciously like the one where Chris Soules worked out with Cody at the beginning his season.
Their advice? Be honest, be open-minded, be true to yourself, dump her on live television if that’s what your heart wants, etc. You get the idea. Yet not one of them said, “Hey buddy, before the limos arrive you have GOT to do something about your hair.”
There are a few things Team Bachelor clearly wants us to know about Ben. One: He really values values. Small-town values, American values, heartland values, family values — any kind of values, really.. Two: Deep down, Mr. Ben Higgins worries that he’s unlovable because… he’s not married yet, or something? He listened to too much Morrissey as a kid? Not quite clear on where this fear comes from, to be honest. Often you can attribute neuroses like that to a person’s upbringing, but Ben’s parents — married for 32 years — seem absolutely lovely. So maybe Ben just hates himself for no reason? Oh great, Ben —now you’ve made your mom cry.
“She’s gonna be great, no matter where you find her,” Mama tells her boy, leaving the rest of her thought — “even if you insist on finding her on TV” — unspoken.
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