After getting her heart smashed into millions of little pieces by Ben Higgins on The Bachelor, JoJo is getting a second chance to find the man of her dreams, so the powers-that-be at ABC presented her with 26 eligible men who range everywhere from completely cringeworthy to totally swoonworthy.
Let's relive the night's most insane (and briefly adorable) moments…
Limo Letdowns: First and foremost, we can't discuss a new season of The Bachelorette without addressing the outrageous, wacky and weird limo exits that some men used to try and standout and snag JoJo's attention. As always, some were more charming than others, but there were seven men in particular who made us cringe so hard, we thought we were going to pass out from secondhand embarrassment. Let's all give a big eye-roll to…
1. Nick B.: It was the nightmare before Christmas! Nick B. decided that his best bet to get on JoJo's nice list was to emerge from the limo dressed up as Santa Claus while bellowing, "Jo Jo Jo!" You're definitely on our naughty list, Nick.
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2. John: In an effort to rep his half Scottish/half Chinese heritage, John decided to emerge out of the limo in a kilt. "Luckily, for me, I'm half Scottish below the waist," the 29-year-old technical sales rep deadpanned to JoJo. To make matters even more awkward, John added that he "wasn't wearing any panties." Face, meet palm.
3. Chase: This suitor popped out of the limo and immediately handed JoJo a set of "blue balls" with a very specific set of instructions: "If at any point in the night you feel stressed, I give you permission to squeeze my balls," he said. No thanks, Chase.
4. Vinny: And the gimmicks continued! "I couldn't find champagne on the way, but I did prepare a little toast for me and you," the 28-year-old barber prefaced his joke before pulling out a little piece of toast from his coat pocket. JoJo's halfhearted laugh and bored expression afterwards proved that not even carbs could give Vinny an edge in the competition.
5. Brandon: The 28-year-old hipster (Yes, you read that correctly. His official gag-inducing job title is "hipster") decided to go with the brutally honest exit. "I didn't watch the last season at all," he said in a painfully monotone voice. "I have no idea… I have nothing… I know nothing about you whatsoever." Clearly he's a hipster who doesn't use the Internet.a
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